My Mini Me and Me

My Mini Me and Me
Mackenzie holding a picture of me when I was 3....she is now 3

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Monday Moments

Woohoo I have accomplished 2 of these! I am pretty darn proud of myself! I have started many blogs but have never been able to keep up with them! Anyhow onto the blog!

Today's moment is family

For as long as I can remember my family has always been in two....My moms side and my dads. My parents were of course married and lived oh so very happily......NOT. Until I was 3 when they got a divorce. Ever since then I have had two families. I have always had two of everything it seemed. Birthdays, Christmas's, and of course Thanksgivings.

I wish I had pictures in my computer to show you all of the people I call my family because they are some WONDERFUL people. However I do no have all of those pictures and yes this makes me sad.

My dad was a single father who did work alot. He was/is a great man. I appreciate everything he has ever done for me. He always gave me the biggest and best of everything. He was my number one guy! I however only got to see him on his holidays and weekends until I was in middle school when I did move with onto other family members

<3 My Grandma and Grandpa Steiner <3 I loved them soooo soooo soooo much. They were of course the best grandparents a girl could ever ask for. I spent ALOT of time with them since they lived just down the street from my mom...for most of my life anyhow. They gave me EVERYTHING I wanted because I was their baby's baby. I mean HELLO how couldn't I get everything I wanted then?? They passed away in 2004...I wish they could have lived to see my daughter...they would have spoiled her to death just like they did me. OH how I miss them. I still sometimes go to their grave site to "visit" them. When I was prego it was the only place that made me feel better.

Now I am going to lump my aunts and uncles in one category here. I have my dad's brother Fred and his sister Julie. They were both very good to me. But it was different. We only all got together on the holidays. I did see my Aunt Julie alot because she ran a daycare and had cancer and I would go with my grandparents to help run the daycare when she had her appointments. I now of days spend alot more time with my Uncle Fred and his wife Becky.

Now to the OTHER side

My mom......lord what to say about her. She has always been out there. She has "tried" to be a good mom i guess. She was an alcholic and has dated many men. She carted me around to bars and even once almost burned the house down....yeah mother of the year right? She wasnt always the best mom which is why I spent so much time at my Grandma and Grandpa Steiners house when I was not with my dad. Now I am not trying to make my mom out to be some horrid person at all so please dont get this wrong but that is the childhood I grew up in. Even as I got older my mom had trouble with her sexuality and went between men and women for years.....she is now married to a man. But also my mother and I have not spoke in over a month. But she is my mother and I somewhere down in the bottom of my heart love her.....

My grandma and Grandpa Wendell- I know I went there as a child but I dont remember it much. I do remember going on what must of been my moms weekends with me or over summer break because I remember waking up my aunts. I also remember my grandma always dragging me off to chruch UGH. I always wanted to stay with Grandpa....he'd let me take a sip of his beer when I opened it and let me watch wrestling! My Grandpa passed away in.......when I was in 5th grade.....whatever year that was. He had cancer and got very very sick and passed. I was very sad. I loved my grandpa and he always let me get away with things and would always bust my cousin who was the same age as me doing the same thing. My grandma is still alive and we used to have WONDERFUL relationship until months ago when she stopped speaking to us after my cousin sexually assaulted my daughter and she took his side. That made me very very very sad because I charished my grandmother more then my mother.

I will do as I did abover and lump my aunts and uncles in the same category again. I have a Uncle Wade whom dosnt speak to us. A Aunt in Florida who dosnt speak to us. My Aunt Brenda who adopted my sister and has my twin cousins whom used to be very close to us and again stopped speaking to us for said reasons above. My Aunt Jennifer who I was probally the closest to out of everyone. However her son was the one to do the sexual assault to my daughter and it ruined our relationship.....

Now my wish:

My wish is Mackenzie would have a great family experience. However.....she has never met her father....his fault of course because he has had the chance to meet her. And now since she has had something sooo awful happen to her she has had HALF of her family taken from her. My wish is she is a strong enough little girl and she has enough people who love her being friends and my dads side of the family that she will have a BIG family in us and get to know what it is like to be a close family.

* sorry this is long and probally pointless to all of you

1 comment:

  1. she will have the family you provide her - friends, "family" and all!