Sunday, February 20, 2011
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Ive tried the internet, it brought me Mackenzies dad......then NOTHING
Ive never been a girl to go to a bar to try to meet a guy.....so thats out.
I have been set up on blind dates.....only once has it lead to a second.
Whats a girl to do when she's sick and tired of being single and is out of options????
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
This weeks topic is confessions of ___ age woman. When I first seen this I wasnt sure I would post on it but once reading the other ladies in the group I am ready to go! So here are my lovely confessions!
* I HAVE to sleep in the pitch black.....even as a kid I used to throw blankets over my window so it would be dark enough.
* I LOVE to talk on the phone.....but only really when I am driving. Other then that I'd really prefer a text message.
* I love the stuffed mushrooms at Olive Garden and fried mushrooms! BUT if you give me mushrooms in anything other form you will see me acting like a 5 year old and picking them out during my disction of the meal.
* I used to be terrified of being a single mom.....now I am kind of glad my daughters father isnt in our lives because that means I dont have to share her!
* I havnt had sex in 16 months......at this point if I had a man IDK if i'd know what to do!
* I always knew my family ( moms side) was crazy, I guess I never realized exactly how crazy they really were until this past year.
* I CANNOT fall asleep if the closet doors are open.....this is a recent thing thanks to my lovely counsin. IDK i guess I feel like they are going to attack me. And I must say this is weird beacuse I sleep in the pitch black!
* I have made alot of mistakes in my early 20s and if I could take them back I sure would. The biggest I made was ruining a friendship with my best friend.....
* If you look at my room you would see disorganized chaos, but at work im actually pretty organized.
* Lastly.....when did I become a mid 20's woman! I mean geeze I will be 26 in 2 months.....that kinda freaks me out
Well there are some of my confessions! What are yours? Check out my friend Andrea http://dixonsmakeitwork.blogspot.com/2011/02/confessions-of-insert-age-here-women.html
who is hosting this week to check out more ladies confessions!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
I took this picture last week and have been waiting for a chance to post it somewhere....so I decided to do a ** Saturday Shots** post. I just love it....I know I'm a weird mom but she looked so damn cute in her panties searching for something to wear.So not 3
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Today's moment is family
For as long as I can remember my family has always been in two....My moms side and my dads. My parents were of course married and lived oh so very happily......NOT. Until I was 3 when they got a divorce. Ever since then I have had two families. I have always had two of everything it seemed. Birthdays, Christmas's, and of course Thanksgivings.
I wish I had pictures in my computer to show you all of the people I call my family because they are some WONDERFUL people. However I do no have all of those pictures and yes this makes me sad.
My dad was a single father who did work alot. He was/is a great man. I appreciate everything he has ever done for me. He always gave me the biggest and best of everything. He was my number one guy! I however only got to see him on his holidays and weekends until I was in middle school when I did move with him.....so onto other family members
<3 My Grandma and Grandpa Steiner <3 I loved them soooo soooo soooo much. They were of course the best grandparents a girl could ever ask for. I spent ALOT of time with them since they lived just down the street from my mom...for most of my life anyhow. They gave me EVERYTHING I wanted because I was their baby's baby. I mean HELLO how couldn't I get everything I wanted then?? They passed away in 2004...I wish they could have lived to see my daughter...they would have spoiled her to death just like they did me. OH how I miss them. I still sometimes go to their grave site to "visit" them. When I was prego it was the only place that made me feel better.
Now I am going to lump my aunts and uncles in one category here. I have my dad's brother Fred and his sister Julie. They were both very good to me. But it was different. We only all got together on the holidays. I did see my Aunt Julie alot because she ran a daycare and had cancer and I would go with my grandparents to help run the daycare when she had her appointments. I now of days spend alot more time with my Uncle Fred and his wife Becky.
Now to the OTHER side
My mom......lord what to say about her. She has always been out there. She has "tried" to be a good mom i guess. She was an alcholic and has dated many men. She carted me around to bars and even once almost burned the house down....yeah mother of the year right? She wasnt always the best mom which is why I spent so much time at my Grandma and Grandpa Steiners house when I was not with my dad. Now I am not trying to make my mom out to be some horrid person at all so please dont get this wrong but that is the childhood I grew up in. Even as I got older my mom had trouble with her sexuality and went between men and women for years.....she is now married to a man. But also my mother and I have not spoke in over a month. But she is my mother and I somewhere down in the bottom of my heart love her.....
My grandma and Grandpa Wendell- I know I went there as a child but I dont remember it much. I do remember going on what must of been my moms weekends with me or over summer break because I remember waking up my aunts. I also remember my grandma always dragging me off to chruch UGH. I always wanted to stay with Grandpa....he'd let me take a sip of his beer when I opened it and let me watch wrestling! My Grandpa passed away in.......when I was in 5th grade.....whatever year that was. He had cancer and got very very sick and passed. I was very sad. I loved my grandpa and he always let me get away with things and would always bust my cousin who was the same age as me doing the same thing. My grandma is still alive and we used to have WONDERFUL relationship until months ago when she stopped speaking to us after my cousin sexually assaulted my daughter and she took his side. That made me very very very sad because I charished my grandmother more then my mother.
I will do as I did abover and lump my aunts and uncles in the same category again. I have a Uncle Wade whom dosnt speak to us. A Aunt in Florida who dosnt speak to us. My Aunt Brenda who adopted my sister and has my twin cousins whom used to be very close to us and again stopped speaking to us for said reasons above. My Aunt Jennifer who I was probally the closest to out of everyone. However her son was the one to do the sexual assault to my daughter and it ruined our relationship.....
Now my wish:
My wish is Mackenzie would have a great family experience. However.....she has never met her father....his fault of course because he has had the chance to meet her. And now since she has had something sooo awful happen to her she has had HALF of her family taken from her. My wish is she is a strong enough little girl and she has enough people who love her being friends and my dads side of the family that she will have a BIG family in us and get to know what it is like to be a close family.
* sorry this is long and probally pointless to all of you
Saturday, January 29, 2011
I know I have been given alot of advice over the years since I am a single mom. Some has been good, some bad, some AWFUL. But I have learned you smile nod and just take it with a grain of salt. The good stuff you stick it in your pocket of knowledge and figure out what to do with it later.
The best advice as of lately that I have recieved and used is " Do what is best for your daughter and you and SCREW EVERYONE ELSE!" I have really started using this. It has taken me a long time to get all of this advice through my thick skull but I finally have done it. For years I have done whats best for Mackenzie but I have always allowed peopled to walk all over me, push me around, and take advantage of me. Well that time is OVER. I now do what is best for Mackenzie and ME!
I know alot of you dont know things about me....well anything about me so heres the big scoop of what changed me. On September 11 2010 my Daughter was sexually assaulted. She was assaulted by a family member of ours. And this event has caused ALOT of turnoil in our lives. I however took this awful awful thing and would not let it get the best of me. I took it and made myself learn to stand strong not only for my daughter but for myself. I have lost many family members and friends along the way since this event in our lives has happened. But I do not care because we only want people who are positive influeces in our lives. So I am very very glad that I was given this advice and was actually able to take it and learn to stand tall for my family!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Monday Moment #1
Today I took a moment to stop and look at my daughter to see what a beautiful little girl she truely has turned into. It makes my heart melt that she is turning into such a great little lady. Here is my moment of refelction to look back at her.
Before she was here
4-18-07 Happy Day Of Birth Baby Mackenzie
3 months old
1 year old Happy Birthday Baby!!
2 years old Happy Birthday Baby!
3 Years old Happy Birthday Baby!
Just a moment that takes my breath away......I cant wait to see the woman she becomes......of course she can take her time at that I love having my little girl!
Saturday, January 22, 2011
The subject: Share how your child or you, found or adopted a lovey and the importance of it in his/hers life. As a bonus feel free to add pictures of you/your little ones with your loveys!
So when I first did this I thought....we dont have loveys......but thats only because we dont call them loveys. We call them our blankies! As a babe Mackenzie did not have a special anything she needed. She actually just got her blankie about 3 months ago and now I dont know how she ever lived without one. It all started by me making her a special pillow case (since its harder then hell to actually find a decently priced special pillow case). When I made it she literally STOLE the left over fabric from her pillow case.....this then became her blankie. However if you look in the picture below you can see that she has her special pillow case, her blankie, and about 3 other blankets that HAVE to be on her bed before she will fall asleep!
Now as for me, I too have blankies. Yes that is plural. I have this hot pink, black and white tie blanket a friend made for me that I MUST sleep with, along with the light green blanket that is underneath the tie blanket. ALSO I have two pillows that are MINE. I do not share very well. Even if I am going somewhere overnight I usually bring at least one blankie and one pillow with me......I know here I am 25 years old and two blankies and two pillows. SERIOUSLY!!
So I know this is a bad picture because my new phone dosnt have a flash but here is a picture of Mackenzie and I in my bed with her lil blankie (see the purple thing with the little mermaid on it) and me with my hot pink blankie.
So what is your lovey??
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
I am single and have been for pretty close to 4 years.....I have been on dates but nothing serious. So I am here because this whole dating world isnt my thing....dating on the internet....going to bars....not my thing. I have the "dream" of meeting a guy through a great friend and then having a group of great people in my life. I know a "dream" but it is one of mine.....anyhow..... I love photography and am trying to get better at it......someday it will be another "dream" of mine. I also love to cook, watch movies, and travel. I work full time helping adults with disabilities and I can honestly say I LOVE what I do. BUt enough about me....
My daughter Mackenzie will be 4 in April (a week after my birthday). This is her beautiful face!
Mackenzie has never met her father and as far as she and I are conserned she is better off for now. She has had some very "tricky" stuff happen to her this past year that no little girl should EVER have to go through....but thats for another post. She goes to "school" and LOVES it. At school she met her best friend who everyone calls her twin. They met in the 1 year old room and eveyone used to get them confused and sometimes still do. Mackenzie is very into baby dolls, art,music, gymnastics, and any outdoor activity. She is a very fun loving easy going little girl and I love her to death!
Well there is a little bit about getting to know us. Now I hope we can all get to know you all some too!